Do You Ever Hate Yourself?

Happy Heaven Snow Day - for some of us! Hope you’re enjoying hot cocoas and cozy clothes in this stunning weather. This newsletter feels a little heavy for today - I was back and forth if I should send it. (Hence later than usual). Didn’t want to kill the heaven vibes. So read it with a cup of coffee while you’re cuddling on the couch. Just a little food for thought.

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Most of us go through life with the hopes and dreams of loving ourselves all the time. But what happens when there is a time that we actually hate ourselves? These moments range in intensity: from accidentally saying or doing something we knew we shouldn’t to overeating and over drinking to messing up in a way that really hurts the people around us, including addictions and inappropriate behaviors that bring us and the people around us down. 

People make mistakes. All. the. time. Big time. And little time.

(What’s the opposite of big time?) 🤨

Wallowing in the shame, in the numbness, in the self hate is what can feel overwhelming and all encompassing - and at times, put us in a very dark place. 

The stillness of those moments when we realized that we messed up can be deafening. And petrifying. And it often feels like the world is coming down on us. 

It’s scary and sometimes our thoughts bring us to scary places. 

I think this is important: and it can’t be overstated. 

Even though the intensity varies, we all have these moments. Those that we wish we can delete, rewind, backspace and redo. 

This doesn’t mean that you are bad. This means you are human. 

Reconciling this with yourself. And believing in yourself.  And giving yourself space. And allowing time to pass. And practicing self compassion. And self forgiveness. And accepting responsibility. And offering an apology. With a commitment to do better. With an action plan. Which involves accountability and hard work.  And acknowledging the wrongdoing. Challenging negative beliefs. And embracing the shame as a human experience. While making amends. And focusing on personal growth. And personal redemption. And self worth. While truly understanding the impact that your behavior has on your loved ones. With a commitment to do better. (I know I said that twice...) 

… Is what will take us out from the dark place under our covers to a new day, where the sun shines bright. 

You will smile again.

We’ve all been there, buddy. 

❤️, Shifi