I was shmoozing with a certain camp director after camp was over. We were discussing how and why kids, counselors (and sometimes even head staff too 😅), thrive in sleepaway camp. Even though it is only 4 or 8 weeks out of the whole year, for some reason, it is an amazing time for growth (often physically too!) in ways that are not possible during the school year. 

Why is that? Great question! I thought about it for a while. These are my initial thoughts: 

Spunky Children Get Celebrated Children who often shine in school are rewarded for their academic abilities and their ability to sit still and attentive for long periods of time, and in camp - the more creative, spunky, fun loving child gets a real chance to shine.

Less structure and less rules work  Many children actually do well with less rigidity. The late nights, the fewer showers, the food round the clock, the fact that day and night is pretty similar in sleep away camps, gives for some extra adrenaline that pushes children to take risks and to try new things they don’t have the opportunity to during the more structured year.

Stepping Out of Family Roles and Responsibilities No offense to families, but the fact that the camper’s family isn’t around to be critical or overbearing, allows children to take on new roles and personalities in ways they cannot do at home. The family is typically set up in a way, with each child and sibling having a role that they fall into. This is one reason why camp is the ultimate equalizer: bunk 14 is bunk 14, no matter what your family makeup is, and no matter what role this child typically plays at home. This really gives children opportunities to try new behaviors as they “unstick” from their typical home role.

Mothers, Mothers. The Well Meaning Mothers. Ahhhh. The mothers. The Mothers!! Whether we are the “smother mother”, or the “distant mother”, or the “critical mother” or even the “Very Well Meaning Healthy Mother” - children have a place and an opportunity to develop healthy individuality… away from us. Too often, Mothers (of course Fathers too) think they are helping their children develop appropriate-ish behaviors by often providing constant feedback and too often, criticism. Turns out, children are just fine, and even thrive, without that. Sleepaway camp is proof.

Developing Internal Values Children and teens have the opportunity to put into practice the values and life lessons that their home and school taught them, without being ‘under the influence’ of the parents. They develop their own internal moral compass and personal values which makes them who they really are.

Independence. Sometimes I wonder if the mothers who run to put the linen on their child’s bed the first day of camp - if those are the amazing mothers or the ones who are inhibiting independence? Or is that just my guilty conscience speaking when I don’t do that? 🥴 This question makes for a great pool discussion this week. 

Singing & Dancing Round The Clock. Watch the camp videos! Turns out, it seems very healthy.

_____ 

Picture this scenario (and yes this actually happened):  On the last day of camp, Camper sees Mom out of the corner of his eye, and starts running to greet her after not having seen his mother in 4 weeks. He waves his hands and picks up the pace to give her a big hug and as he gets closer she stops and screams “eeew! You stink! No, like you literally smell. When was the last time you showered? Uch and your nails, they are filthy and long! I’m going to vomit. Omg, your hair. We must cut your hair today - I can’t even look at you - you look like the biggest mess. Go grab your bags from the bunk - we must get out of here! This whole place wreaks!” 

Now, you tell me: Who’s the one who “stinks” in that interaction? 🙊

Actually, they both do but you get the point. 🤣

Let’s bring a little sleepaway camp spirit into our homes … 

until next summer! 

💕, Shifi 

P.S. For another reminder about how powerful our words are, read here Words, words, words